On Criticism - Constructive or Otherwise

First: tell me what you don't like. 

Please.

I appreciate those comments as much as the positives! Well...almost. ;)

I had a very talented, trusted reader (who also edits my stuff and is my Dad) drop a couple hints at criticism, then come right back and apologize, wishing he could take it all back.

But,..I NEED THAT SHIT. 

OK, if I'm honest, even the slightest hint at a negative remark caused me pangs of anxiety in the beginning. And suggestions - well, they nearly ended this career I'm trying to build, over here. Stuff like, I think you should start the chapter like this, or, I prefer this tense - sheer panic. Because all I heard was you did it wrong. But it's amazing what a year of rejection will do to toughen you up...and a year of self-publishing, including ARC results and honest reviews. There's a lot of self-doubt involved in this line of work, but there's a lot of triumph, too.

In short, your "criticism" was useful, Daddy, when some others cut deep, with no redeeming qualities to help the blood coagulate.

I need to know what I'm doing wrong, just as much as I need feedback on what hits you right, or else how will I change and grow? 

Second: I just said it. Tell me what you do like, too!

I think negative criticism is louder because it seems more important to point out the errors than to tout the scores. A positive review is usually short: vague sentiments and five stars, and they're done. But despite the affirmation of my chosen line of work that comes from any positive review, I'm often left wondering what I'd done to strike the right chord in the reviewer, too. 

I know I need to build my own team of beta-readers, and I'm trying! I really am - but it's challenging. 

I guess all I'm trying for something that will give back in value for both sides, and having a hard time figuring out the semantics. 

So in the meantime, whether you like my book or not, tell me. And for the love of God, tell me why. I love you. Thank you!